Preface
This is an event that took place last year and it was a sad but very humbling experience. It Involves the death of my very close friend Thobile Jiyane who was my friend throughout highschool and beyond. This is all the experiences from the weekend that I spent in her home town attending the funeral.
Story
From the 5th of November 2010 to the 7th of November 2010 I had the delightful experience of visiting the North West – Ruigtesloot. Sadly I was going there for a funeral of a very dear friend, but in the process I sure learnt a lot. Here follows my experience in the North West.
Upon arrival all that could be seen was a very bumpy dirt road and tons of trees and bush, typical Highveld. The animals that were seen there were, cattle, donkeys, rabbits, chickens and dogs. The people were very welcoming and enjoyed having a white person visit their home town. I was told i was a white, mum, as in their culture they call everyone ma or sisi.
The traditions of a funeral then began, A cow was slaughtered as a sacrifice to Thobile, this cow was then cut up and cooked. The whole of friday night from 11pm till daylight there was singing, readings and speeches all in tribute to Thobile, as well as a type of mourning session before the funeral. A man stood up in this session and gave an english speech to me, thanking me for coming and for the trouble I had taken and that because I was there it showed that, the deceased (Thobile) had an impact on my life and that it was the first time in his life that he had seen a white person come to a service like that, he said a blessing and said that he hopes there will always be friendship between my family and theirs.
At about 5.30 am we washed our faces and got changed for the funeral, the funeral session started at about 7 am where everyone queued outside a room to go and see the body, as you entered the room you were supposed to kneel beside the open coffin and spend a last moment with her, this bought tears to most people. The coffin was then closed and bought into the tent where the church service was taking place, bible verses and songs and a speech from the mother and father’s side of the family. The coffin was then carried round the back of the house where there was an open grave. Men and Women had to be kept separate and therefore stood on different sides of the open grave. Prayers and a bible verse and songs were sung again, then the coffin was lowered into the grave and the men all took spades a completely covered the grave. Emma and Nora (Thobile’s two sisters) then revealed the tomb stone. Everyone then washed their hands (not too sure what the meaning behind it was). The meal was then served, this being the cow that was slaughtered the day before that had been cooked during the night, served with pap, vegetables and salad. People then started to leave to go back to Jhb but I stayed on till Sunday.
I Stayed with Emma at her gran’s place and learnt a new lifestyle. The toilet was placed over a big hole in the ground and that’s where you did your business, either there or in the bushes. There was limited water resources and sometimes had to fetch water from the water hole, but Emma’s gran’s place had a tap with filtered water that came from the North West water supply (I think – that’s what Emma told me) There wasn’t much electricity only one light in the house, they cooked over a fire and a stove that used wood to get its heat. When we bathed we used a big bucket with water that had been boiled over the stove. During the day it was very very hot, so hot that it made you lazy. Even though it was hot outside that’s where you stayed during the day as inside was even hotter because of the metal roof, and the heat coming from the stove. Later at night it started to rain but the rain was so terribly loud on the metal roof that you couldn’t hear anyone and you almost felt compelled to block your ears. Emma and I then shared a single bed for the night as that is all that was available.
The next morning some kids arrived and i felt as if they didn’t know what to make of me, the only and possibly the first white person they could see. Some didn’t even talk to me, they just stared. We then prepared ourselves for the long journey home. Turned out to be a 3 hour drive.
I had the most amazing time ever, I learnt a lot and enjoyed the company of the people there. It was a privilege and I’d do it all again sometime (hopefully not the funeral but just the visit).